mishasminions:

I LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE "YOU LITTLE SHIT" IS A TERM OF ENDEARMENT AND IT’S MAGICAL

(via hate)

"Whenever I die, I want them to stuff my boner."

h0odrich:

Put me in the coffin with both middle fingers up

(via sorry)

missmirandaaraee:

"dark lipstick makes you look intimidating"

good. stay the hell away from me.

(via heartless)

swaggurd:

yes, i’m double jointed

*smokes two joints at once*

(Source: coffinwasher, via sorry)

nosdrinker:

let’s 96 (ignore each other)

(via cumfort)

  • Other people: wow what a perfect morning for a run
  • Me: wow what a perfect morning to go the fuck back to sleep

pizza:

*gets homework out of bag* i think that’s enough homework for one day

(Source: pizza, via hate)

deppsex:

but why would you even give him the waterbed

he had scissors

for hands

scissors

(via hotboyproblems)